I have a PET scan on Monday. It is my first one since being diagnosed with breast cancer Jan 2012. My tumor was Stage 1, Grade 2, triple positive. I have been having shoulder and hip pain for a few months now so my oncologist arranged the scan. I had an xray on the shoulder which showed an abnormality but my oncologist has been clear that she isn’t worried its cancer. Some blood work she ordered was also all fine, including my ALP (alkaline phosphotase) However, that hasn’t stopped me from going off the deep end. I drive myself crazy with fear. I am just a bundle of fun to be around.
Here is what I did to deal with my fear today.
1) Went to my favorite on-line support group and read some of the inspiring posts by women on the site.
2) Called my mom. She told me to get my head out of my ass and do something positive. She reminded me that I need to exercise more and eat better. So, to show the universe that I am serious about beating cancer, I took my dog out for a speed walk for 30 minutes.
3) I haven’t had an appetite for the past week on account of my fear. After my walk, I had one of my favorite things in the world – pizza. Not the greasy calorie laden kind, I ate two pieces of a thin crust vegetarian pizza.
4)I Escaped myself for a couple of hours by playing with Lego with my 20 month old little man, Nate.
5) I wrote in my journal. Specifically, I wrote down some positive affirmations.
While my hip is throbbing now, my overactive mind has calmed a fair bit. Overall, I am more comfortable and feeling positive. Tomorrow is another day. But for right now, for today, I am OK.
I hope this helps those of you who battle fear.