I am just trying to wind down after an unproductive day. I feel guilty because I got absolutely nothing accomplished today. Nothing.
I am in bed with my wife of eight years. Every night is the same. First we get into bed and accuse each other of stealing the others’ pillow.
Then, we play “what do you want to watch on TV?”
Me: It’s ok hun, you chose.
Spouse: No. I don’t care, you chose.
I then find a TV show.
Spouse: Oh, I don’t like that show.
Me: What about this one?
Spouse: I don’t care. Really, watch whatever you want. I’m fine.
(Go to the top and repeat for an hour).
At some point one of us starts snacking on something and the bag crinkling is too loud and irritates the other.
Somewhere around 11:00 PM, my spouse puts in her ear plugs. She wears them because I supposedly snore. She turns to me for a quick goodnight peck and asks me to turn the TV volume down.
Then, without fail, she asks me a question – with the ear plugs still in her ears. I answer the question. She asks me to repeat my answer because she can’t hear it. This goes on for a few minutes until I tell her to a) either stop talking or b) take out the damn ear plugs.
I am waiting for my sleeping pill to kick in so that I can nod off soon. My mind is racing for some reason tonight. I have been working on my cancer anxiety with some success. Tonight, for whatever reason, I am feeling fearful.
I am sipping camomile tea and repeating: FEAR is = to False Evidence Appearing Real.
Rinse and repeat.
BTW, I am married to the greatest spouse in the world. I wouldn’t trade her for anyone. I was just wondering if anyone else has a similar bedtime routine?
xo Carolyn R.